wayne&wax

linkthink re: hip-hop, reggae, the US, jamaica, and anything else wayne wants to wax on

11.12.2005

cheap vi_agra!! and other spam poetry

i came very close to deleting the following email:
From: Jascha Hoffman
To: wayne marshall
Date: Nov 10, 2005 6:31 PM
Subject: Cheap Vi_agra !!! (from your good friend Jascha Hoffman)

applejack a wherefore on see bourgeois ! it's grocer some
on momenta , ! recusant ! or faro and be
dreadful seebut astringent may.
lonesome try configure be may inmate on be carmen or
try tollgate the may u.s may a introduce see try
nonce somemay ireland !.
-Spam


Friends,

Having just received the preceeding in my inbox, I found this roundup of spam-harvested verse quite apposite.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/07/23/spam_poetry_compendium/

Of course, this message will probably be blocked by your spamfilter.

Jascha Hoffman
to which i replied:
this is great! mind if i "blog" it?
and jascha said:
sure! but the real fun is getting spam poetry from your readers. for instance, with alicia's permission you should run the following too, which is some raw-ass performance poetry that my friend alicia got via unsolicited submission.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Alicia Jo Rabins
Date: Nov 11, 2005 1:51 AM
Subject: Re: Cheap Vi_agra !!! (from your good friend Jascha Hoffman)
To: Jascha Hoffman

dear jascha,

i love it!!! here is something i got a month or so ago, and saved:



labiated a bowl of bread lasagna and milk night and morning, livraison with
"i connivancy banner-fashioned fairfronted knew
optometric mosaicking "then



can you believe that shit? better than anything i've ever written. it
kills me.
so i say:
i'd love to run alicia's, too. (just give me the 'go,' alicia.)

although not in the realm of absurdist spampoetry, one of my favorite spam headlines was this one: "want to see me play with my self?"

just something about that space between "my" and "self" which seemed to make the offer rather enticing actually. yes, i would like to see someone play with their self.

-w
and jascha goes:
that's hilarious!
while alicia responds:
go ahead, by all means... i wish i could take ownership over it, but i
will have to settle for being supremely inspired by it.


alicia
so, dear reader, if you too are supremely inspired by the spam poetry above, as well as that collected here, i invite you to share any unsolicited "submissions" that you've received, and enjoyed, in the comment section below.

(anyone else smell a senior thesis?)

10 Comments:

Blogger Vitriolix said...

A fashion pro for German style? Arrive in our cyber planet for top watches.
More nanny than you ever imagined.
Original opposed to our replica = similiar
Sex-hungry sons cramming their moms!
Capital Markets Are Hot.
yes ! jump in like or Weasel !.

3:20 PM  
Blogger 893 said...

Spam poetry is an overcrowded genre. But what about spam neurophilosophy? Wide open!

Except for this treatises on the "two-point thinking" style which my friend put up on his tragically inactive blog.

4:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Spamusement.
Nuff said. You are so good to me eggplant mike.

5:50 AM  
Blogger Gina said...

I wish I were a poet. But...

Wayne, I was going to drop you an e-mail about this, but then I realized your address (perhaps appropriately) was nowhere to be found. Check out some new and not-so-new mashups over at Indoor Fireworks:

http://indoorfireworks.blogspot.com/2005/11/thats-fuckin-love-song-son.html

6:46 AM  
Blogger wayne&wax said...

thanks for the contributions all.

893, good point: i'll have to keep my eye out for emergent spam genres. if my russian were better, i might have noticed some already.

gina, thanks for the link. and my email is no special secret--that's one reason i can appreciate spam poetry. you can always reach me at wayne at, er um, wayneandwax.com. (never mind the "er um" though. or the commas.)

4:43 PM  
Blogger wayne&wax said...

vitriolix- is that a composite? an inspired original? it's almost too rich to be a single spam text. not that i'd be too surprised. soon enough these monkeys will reel off some shakespeare.

4:47 PM  
Anonymous Claire Chanel said...

You might be into this as well:

Spamthology

4:56 PM  
Blogger wayne&wax said...

wow. that's great. a nice way to carry the meme. glad to see it's out there--and boston-based?!

the internet burps its subconscious come-ons, or something.

5:27 PM  
Anonymous AK said...

"Want to see me play with my self?"

Who wrote that one--Lee Perry?

6:51 PM  
Blogger wayne&wax said...

heh heh. scratch may even have outdone madonna on that score. (not sure though.)

7:26 PM  

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